


you're covered in roses

by minjikishii



Category: JO1 (Japan Band)
Genre: Angst, Funerals, Happy ending? whats that?, M/M, Non-Idol AU, Ren and Sukai are brothers, Sad Ending, Somebody dies, car crash, if you look hard enough theres rnkm, im sorry for the suffering, so are mame and junki, sukai suffers for 2.5k words im so sorry, weddings and funerals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:28:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26656639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minjikishii/pseuds/minjikishii
Summary: “he looked so pretty. his blonde hair was accessorized with flowers and glitter, his suit pocket holding a bundle of red, white and pink carnations and a single yellow geranium; matching the bundle of flowers in sukai’s own. his white suit was perfectly ironed and his white shoes were polished to match. sukai let out a gasp. his lover was so beautiful.”sukai’s eyes met shosei’s face, and he couldn’t breathe.in which sukai waits for shosei at the end of the aisle.
Relationships: Kinjo Sukai/Ohira Shosei
Comments: 5
Kudos: 15





	you're covered in roses

**Author's Note:**

> title is a lyric from "weddings & funerals" by royal & the serpent  
> \---  
> im so sorry for this,, i saw the tl was happy with skysei because skysei was married so i decided "why not make them suffer" (just kidding im not THAT cruel, i used a random pairing spinner and it just so happened to land on skysei) 
> 
> anything in italics is stuff from the past!!
> 
> beta read by my lovely girlfriend @emers127 as always, and as always ily <3  
> anyways,  
> TW / CW : DEATH , CAR CRASH

the two lovers held each others’ hands in a tense silence, the bright lighting of the hall reflecting off their rings. sukai softly smiled as he stared at his lover’s hands. they were so beautiful, he was so beautiful. half-heartedly, he gave it a small squeeze, fingering the silver band on his lover’s slim ring finger. 

he played with shosei’s hand; drawing circles on his palm, hoping to set some calmness and ease within him. he sighed shakily. he directed his gaze towards the ground, not wanting to look at his lover’s face. sukai was hesitant to let go of shosei’s hand, but he had no other choice. he had to let go. 

it was hard to accept that fact. 

_“sukai-kun, which flowers do you think would look good?” shosei sat down next to sukai, a photo book filled to the brim with photos of several different flowers in his lap. the former frowned, a small pout resting on his lips. sukai looked up from the phonebook and stared at shosei’s face, resisting the urge to pinch his cheeks and kiss the pout away._

_“sukai... help me pick out flowers!” shosei playfully tugged on sukai’s arm. “the florist said i had to choose them by today!”_

_sukai laughed. he was too cute._

_“umm... let me take a look then.” sukai took the book from shosei and flipped through the many pages, his head already spiraling with the amount of flowers he was looking through. he stopped on a page about carnations._

_the flower of love, loyalty and hope._

_“what about these? they’re pretty, just like you.” he teased the other, earning a playful smack on the arm and a small giggle from shosei._

_“i guess they work, but i was also thinking these geraniums and columbines looked pretty too. plus, according to this website i found, their special flower dates correspond with our birthdays!” shosei flipped to another page, where he had clipped in several pictures of the yellow flower of happiness and the blue flower dedicated to the goddess of love._

_“how about these red, white and pink carnations, and then one of the geraniums and columbines in each bouquet then?”_

_“good idea.”_

_“i love you.”_

_shosei planted a soft kiss on the younger’s cheek, causing him to blush madly. sukai turned and embraced shosei in a tight hug. the other dropped the photo book and hugged him back._

_“i love you, too.”_

_they stayed like that for a long time._

sukai let go of shosei’s cold hands and took a shaky breath. he traced the scars on his hands up to where the hem of shosei’s suit sleeve was. sukai reached for his suit pocket, pulling out a small bundle of carnations and geraniums. 

“it’s ironic how these flowers were used for our wedding,” sukai dryly laughed, placing the bouquet in shosei’s own pocket. “It’s funny to think that they’re being used like this now.” 

he could feel the tears coming. it hurt him to see shosei like this. it had only been a year since they got married. they had planned so much for their future together. they were supposed to travel the world together, adopt a kid and watch them grow up as they grew old and grew white hairs together. they were supposed to be together, entwined by the strings of love and fate. not separated by the string of death. sukai’s eyes stung. it was getting harder to stand by shosei’s lifeless body. 

he blinked and wiped his eyes. the 21 year-old took a deep breath then got up from where he was leaving against shosei’s yellow casket. maybe he should greet the people who came. 

sukai was numb. he didn’t remember giving his body the command to, but he felt himself walking in the direction of the room in which the main ceremony was supposed to take place. everyone was staring at him, their eyes full of sympathy and grief. sukai didn’t want to see that. a large screen was propped up in the back of the room, showing a video of shosei and every photo he’s ever taken on repeat. sukai felt like crying again. 

_“babe, say cheese!” shosei called from behind him. The newly-wed couple were visiting a bustling city in korea, currently on their honeymoon. sukai turned around and posed, throwing up a random peace sign. shosei’s camera made a shutter sound, and a thin, white film polaroid photo came out of the small slot at the top of shosei’s vintage, yellow polaroid camera. shosei shook the photo around before running up to his husband and showing it to him, smiling widely._

_“you look cute.”_

_“no i don’t.”_

_“shut up, skysky. you look super cute in this.”_

_sukai wrapped his arm around shosei’s small shoulders, leaning his head into the space between his neck and shoulders. shosei pouted._

_“not as cute as you, though.”_

_shosei laughed, shaking his head. his blonde hair swished with the movement._

_“you’re lying.”_

_this time it was sukai who was doing the pouting._

_“no, i’m serious. let me take a photo of you for proof.”_

_shosei laughed again and handed him the camera. sukai told shosei to pose next to a window with a mannequin inside it and took a picture. it came out better than he thought. next, he took out his phone and began to take multiple photos of his husband, chuckling as the latter began to complain about how cold it was._

_“stop moving! i’m trying to take pictures!”_

_“sukai~! if you won’t let me move, then just let’s take a photo together then!”_

his heart fell and his chest felt heavy upon seeing those photos in the slideshow. shosei was smiling so brightly, not even the sun could compare. it hadn’t occurred to him that he’d never be able to see shosei smile like that again. the brown-haired male could feel his heart ripping into pieces thinking of it. 

he missed shosei. he missed going home from work everyday to shosei watching tv or watering the plants outside on the balcony of their shared apartment. he missed taking shosei on dates to the movies, museum or even the park. he missed staying up late with shosei, talking about their future and reminiscing about the time they met. 

he missed going to parties with shosei and going home more drunk than he’s ever been in his entire life and feeling shosei’s arms around him when he woke up the next morning with a splitting headache. he missed the late night karaoke sessions with shosei, the both of them choosing to sing cheesy disney songs late into the night and getting multiple noise complaints from the neighbors. sukai missed it all. he missed shosei so much, and his heart hurt thinking about him. he shouldn’t be here. sukai wished he wasn’t standing there in the funeral hall, mourning for his dead husband. he wished shosei wasn’t even dead in the first place. 

he looked ahead, towards the rows and rows of friends, family, acquaintances, and old classmates sukai had forgotten about who felt bothered enough to come pay their respects. everyone was wearing black. black was sukai’s favorite color, yet now he dreaded it.

he recognized his old classmates, syoya and shion sitting at the front. they were always close to both shosei and sukai, them being the ones to introduce sukai to him one fateful school day. he also saw his brother ren, along with his boyfriend takumi, their friends junki and keigo and junki’s little brother issei sitting next to them. shosei had always looked up to ren, calling him his superior in both age and dance. 

_“skysky, i’m gonna be home late today. practice ran a little late, and i had to drive ren home today, sorry. i’m going to pick up dinner for us both, so don’t eat anything just yet, okay?” shosei’s voice filtered over through the phone, the sound of rain pelting against shosei’s car and music playing from the radio making his voice barely audible._

_“why didn’t you drive ren back to our apartment? i don’t mind my own brother over.” sukai used his head to clamp his phone in between his ear and shoulder as he took a bundle of freshly dried clothes out of the dryer and into a basket. he used his free hand to close the dryer._

_“he asked me to drive him home. he has a date with his new boyfriend tonight.” shosei chuckled over the phone, and sukai could imagine his older brother getting all dressed up for a date. he wondered where ren would take him, and who he was dating. sukai laughed._

_“i see. well then, i don’t want to bother you. focus on driving and i’ll see you and dinner at home.”_

_“don’t worry, i’ll be fine.” shosei laughed. sukai could hear the clicking of the blinker in the background. “i’m almost home anyways. there was a crash on the highway so i had to take a detour.”_

_sukai chuckled and reminded his husband to drive safely before saying “i love you, goodbye” and hanging up. he began to fold the dried clothes, smiling as he found the shirt sukai had gifted to shosei the year prior in the pile._

the ceremony was about to start, and staff members dressed in fancy black suits had began to carry shosei’s casket out to the main hall. sukai was tearing up. 

the doors to the main parlor opened and four men carrying a bright yellow casket strided down the aisle. everyone stood up and sukai sat down at his spot at the front of the hall. for once in his life, he was glad for his infamous poker face. the casket came closer, and sukai couldn’t help but remember shosei walking down the aisle at their wedding, in the same fancy white suit his dead body was wearing. if sukai had teared up remembering that, it was his business. 

the casket was set down at the front, and the staff opened the box, revealing shosei’s dead body for all it’s glory to the funeral-goers. the yellow case was decorated with carnations and geraniums, the petals scattered on top of shosei’s lifeless body.

the flowers of love, loyalty, hope and grief. 

_he couldn’t believe it. he didn’t want to believe it. some time after sukai had ended the call with shosei, all the tv news channels had blew up with the news of a car crash near their apartment, resulting in the death of a young man and a five year-old girl, and the injury of a woman in her late twenties. the young man was identified as ‘ohira shosei’ via his driver’s license._

_sukai dropped to his knees, one hand holding his tear stained phone, and the other holding his mouth as he shook violently. shosei wasn’t dead. he wasn’t. they were wrong. he didn’t want to believe it. he wanted to scream, he wanted to break everything apart and cry._

_shosei couldn’t be dead._

_someone knocked on their apartment door._

_“sukai? sukai, open the door, it’s me, ren.” of course it was ren, who else would it have been? sukai didn’t feel like talking, or seeing ren at the moment. his head hurt, and as much as he knew it wasn’t true, he wanted to blame someone for shosei’s death. the first person he could think of was his own brother._

_he felt himself speaking, louder than he wanted to._

_“i don’t want to talk to you!” sukai’s voice came out as a shaky sob, his poker-faced charade breaking. his brother pounded on the door again._

_“sukai, please let me in! please!” ren sounded desperate, and sukai could hear a smaller voice that didn’t belong to ren try to calm ren down outside. was it ren’s date? sukai didn’t know and he didn’t_ **_care_ ** _. “sukai, please let me in. i’m asking, as your older brother, to please let me in. i just got the news and i want to talk to you.”_

_a moment of silence passed before sukai finally had it in him to stand up and open the door. his face was tear streaked and his eyes were swollen from crying, but at that time, he didn’t give a single fuck._

_ren was standing outside. he reached his arm out, attempting to hug his younger brother, but sukai had slapped his arm away before he could. he glared at his brother._

_“if you hadn’t asked shosei to drive you home, he’d be here with me right now! he wouldn’t be_ **_dead_ ** _!” sukai yelled at ren, voice barely coming out in between heavy sobs. “he should be here with me now, not hauled away in some ambulance a-and, and…”_

_ren took a hesitant step closer to sukai, forcing his brother into a tight hug. ren was crying too, his tears silently falling onto sukai’s shirt._

_“sukai…”_

_the two brothers stood there in the doorway, the younger clinging onto the older as he sobbed into his shoulder._

sukai looked at ren from his seat at the front. his brother looked back sympathetically, giving him a small smile that told him to stay strong. he tried to smile back, gulping back the tears that threatened to spill out. 

_two weeks had passed since shosei’s death. they had prepared a grand funeral for him, at which sukai was to prepare a speech for. he was supposed to talk, tell everyone how amazing shosei was, but it hurt him knowing that shosei will never be able to hear it. nonetheless, he made sure to prepare a heartfelt speech for him._

_he thought about their wedding a lot while writing it, thought about their trips and their plans and the fun times they had together. he wrote about all of them, and watched as his empty tears stained the delicate paper. sometimes he wished he didn’t do the laundry the day of his death, so that he could have something that smelled like shosei again. the pillows were more than often wet with sweat and tears._

_sukai could barely make it out of their once shared apartment that morning. if it weren’t for shion and syoya, he would’ve collapsed and never made it to the funeral._

sukai looked sadly at the open casket, and a part of him wishes that he had made it a closed casket funeral instead. he couldn't look at shosei, wearing the same suit he wore to their wedding just a year ago. 

the ceremony began. everyone sat down, the wooden rows creaking in the silence of the hall. 

_he looked so pretty. his blonde hair was accessorized with flowers and glitter, his suit pocket holding a bundle of red, white and pink carnations and a single yellow geranium; matching the bundle of flowers in sukai’s own. his white suit was perfectly ironed and his white shoes were polished to match. sukai let out a gasp. his lover was so beautiful._

sukai’s eyes met shosei’s face, and he couldn’t breathe.

**Author's Note:**

> hiii ty for reading this fic, if you want leave a comment and some kudos heh :))  
> social medias:  
> ig: @jikishiii  
> twt: @starrysyoys


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